Still Holding On

At times I (Rachel) feel that there are no words to describe where I am at this week, and other times I feel that I sound like a broken record focusing on things that I will never understand or will never have an anwer to. I am just walking through a blurr and don't know if I will ever be able to look back and see something of redemptive value. This is one song that I have heard many times in the past, but now actually have an understanding of the words and pain behind it. It best describes what I am feeling.

Held

By Natalie Grant

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we
be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lillies of the valley
and tomorrow.

(Chorus)

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.